Bex & Elainas Boob Check Reminder Page

So... you stop active treatment and you think phew! Then you have a friend go through it and it's horrible to see them go through such tough stuff too. Elaina, you are doing so well, way more smiley then I was and I hope you feel the relief in this next chemo that I felt...❤️

Have you all been checking your tatas ladies, I've not been harassing you all as much recently so I hope you've kept it up! Finding lumps early means less treatment... Trust us, you don't want what we've had so get checking ❤️

Ok time to get real….

🚨 Long post alert 🚨

18th March - lump found
4th April - lump tested
11th April - Triple Negative Breast Cancer confirmed 😢
In between - numerous tests
11th May - treatment plan explained as below 👇🏻
1st June - treatment commences

So my treatment starts 1st June 😬

I’m having 3 cycles of chemo every 3 weeks (for the first 9 weeks) then 9 cycles every week (another 9 weeks) so 12 lots of chemo instead of 6 (as first advised and thought) so it will be intense!

The plan is then to have surgery with radiotherapy to follow (which can be between 5 / 25 sessions depending how chemo and surgery goes for me?!)

A lot to get my head around and if the gene comes back positive I lose both breasts and both ovaries 😢 (that is another 3/4 weeks away until my result)

I have since had a heart scan to see if my heart can cope 🤞🏻 and a kidney function test which was yesterday so 🤞🏻 everything is ok for me to start treatment as planned!

The next couple of weeks I have alot of blood tests etc and I’m having a port placed into my chest so it is easy access and no messing each time I return for treatment and for the sake of my girls (so they don’t see bruises and marks etc from messing with needles for blood etc)

I also have to have a new patient meeting to meet the ward/nurses and talk through when I’m there for treatment and I have to be fitted for the cold cap. (Hoping I don’t lose my hair)

There are so many side effects and I could be left with heart or kidney disease but that is the risk I take if I want to stay alive!

Absolute minefield! Although I’m plodding on through these appointments, it only means the treatment is imminent 😢😬

I know it’s got to happen and I will get through it, it’s just very daunting having seen so many poorly people yesterday and still the unknown…

Once again thank you all so much for your kind words, love, best wishes, gifts and love!

I will look back and never realise how lucky I am to have you all in my life 😘❤️

It’s just a little bump in the road and I’ll see you all on the other side!

Don’t forget please check those ( . ) ( . )’s ❤️

Afternoon folks... I always said I wanted to be the last person diagnosed with breast cancer, any cancer!! I hoped at least it wouldn't be any of you, but that was naive.

The loveliest person you could meet messaged recently with the news and I'm gutted. After chatting about raising awareness, the lovely ❤️Elaina❤️ will be doing some of the reminders to check 'em. I think its good to hear from a different person, on a different journey, with a different type of breast cancer and for this to be a kick up the butt for anyone who's forgetting to check... so please check yours now! Give Elaina big love, she is a true fighter so I am completely confident she will get through the treatment to fight this!

Question: do people need to comment on these reminders to keep getting them on their newsfeed, I've not mastered this side of things.. I'm not fussed about likes or comments, all I'm bothered about is you all being reminded to check your (.)(.)'s 🤷🏽‍♀️

The photo is for decoration, my favorite place! You can tell me yours if you've got this far...

👐👀 Its time to fettle the girls... in the year I've had this I know of 2 other warrior women that have been diagnosed 😭 So please check for lumps or changes, catching this early means you can reduce how much treatment you need to have.

I thought its a good time for information spreading..

👉🏻The location:

Milk lobules. I had invasive lobular cancer ILC it grows it a line or web the sneaky little 🤬 its very hard to detect as you rarely get a lump. I did so I know someone up there was looking out for me!! A lot of women find stippling. It's found once things have progressed generally. MRI is best for seeing it. 2cm on mammogram, 6.5cm MRI & 8cm in reality.

Milk ducts. There's invasive ductal cancer IDC, more often you do get a lump, it makes up the biggest percent of breast cancer 80%. There are other ways of spotting it too see my picture.

They aren't always invasive I don't think, I need to check..

Lymph channels. Inflammatory breast cancer IBC. This is a rare type of breast cancer. The cancer cells block the smallest lymph channels in the breast. You find swelling, firm section or heat.

👉🏻What helps it grow:

There is ER+ estrogen positive breast cancer (my type), so estrogen feeds the tumour.

There is PG+ progesterone positive breast cancer, progesterone helps the tumour grow.

There's is HER2+ breast cancer which is complicated! A breast cancer that tests positive for a protein called human epidermal growth factor receptor 2; so Google says!

There is TNBC triple negative breast cancer, this doesn't need any of the above hence the triple negative name. If you see this specific type of charity; give them a donation. I tip my hat to these ladies & I give them extra love ❤️

😴 Thats enough for this reminder, I'll bore you with my failed new drug trial thing I started now..

My trial drug (which technically is a gathering more evidence after a successful trial) has bombed. After 10 days seeing a lot of my en suite or starving myself (without losing any weight argh!!) Feeling ill & getting 10 of the 14 side effects, my oncologist took some bloods and told me to stop till I'm better. I'll try again on an altered dose after that. I'm so easily effected with tablets!!!! I should have known as I'm a lightweight with alcohol (oh how I miss carefree drunk nights out!!) I'm not going to lie it was a nightmare, my tongue split worse then chemo (not stopped me talking) 6 days after I've stopped I'm still having to starve myself to go out on our holiday with my family (very grumpy at lunchtime!) It's an extra treatment, do I really need it, I'd regret giving up if I got secondary cancer...

As always the moral of this reminder is protect yourself by checking ladies. Boys have a fumble too, not that many will have read this far so ladies remind them!

Thank you as always for reading but mostly for checking yours! ❤️😘

B**b check time... I started the drug trial today, 2 years of fun..😬 Hopefully my body will cope and I won't have awful side effects (reduced appetite one wouldn't be terrible!)

So that's 4 operations, 5 weeks with drains attached, 2 blood transfusions, another huge 8+ hour operation on the horizon, 12 chemo cycles, 15 radiotherapy sessions, 10 years hormone therapy (menopause inducing rollercoaster) rehab for lymphodema and now 2 years targeted treatment drug which is a bit chemo like as it targets fast growing cells. Phew!!! No wonder I feel a bit more unhinged then usual....

So when I say check for lumps, I mean CHECK. FOR. LUMPS! I really don't want anyone I know & care about going through all this, catch it early! Unless you have sneaky lobular cancer like me then you try and catch it asap! ❤️

Edit: The tape is for my lymphodema..😆.

B**b check time... have a feel and tell your gp about any changes.. do it, do it (I watched Starsky & Hutch last night 😆)

I have a reconstruction diep date, 29th October I think (couple of variables still to pin down) 😬 I found out my belly, that I thought would be enough for 20 b***s is not a big belly (compliment but bad ish news) I have enough belly for them to make 2 C cup b***s which is 10 cup sizes smaller! The size of my pot belly is caused by my muscles being spilt apart by a huge amount so the insides aren't held in & protrude (nice!) So 2 smaller b***s then expected, a tummy tuck AND my muscles put back in place and repaired! Boom! Silver lining there... better body than ever and no lobules or ducts to get cancery! (That's a word honest)

I got the trial drug authorised too (yikes!) I start in 2 weeks, my oncologist the great Dr C felt I was too run down to start this week. So given time, if you see me running for the loo you know the main side effect has got me, if you don't see me much you know the low white blood cells side effect has hit me. I'll be honest I'm a bit upset that I have 2 years of chemo type side effects but I'd be wayyyyy more upset of cancer came back and I'd not tried this drug. My friend Vicky might not be here but her advice is still so clear 'do everything you can!' She will be happy I've said yes to this drug, I'd be doing her wrong if I'd said no.

So menopause... what a fekkin ride! I'm 4 months into my hormone treatment and my mind is a little interesting... I have to keep reminding myself that it's just the crazy hormones... don't have periods though so again... silver lining.

That's all for now folks. Please remember to check yourselves # # #

55378008 anyone remember this on a calculator?? 😆 Popped in my head as I started to type this fortnight's b**b check reminder!! Sooooo check 'em, check it all, have a think about any changes anywhere & act now x

I've decided to start selling some of my photography pieces. I figured it's a way of raising money for Cancer Research & The Christie but also me starting to do some of the things I only ever thought about before I got my reminder that life could be short.

I've been offered a trial drug at The Christie, insurance need to say yes which I think they may say no but we'll see.. its 2 years of a chemo style drug (tablets taken at home) that's used for patients with secondaries currently but they found it reduces the chance of cancer returning for patients without secondaries but who had lymph nodes affected. It does mean side effects and being careful again. It's a mix of huge gratitude that I could have this extra help and sadness as its a slight step back into active treatment. I can't say no as I'd regret it if the big bad C came back.

You would think things calm down after active treatment but I've been back to hospital for 3 appointments this week! Last week I had 2 appointments and next week another one so far. I'm joining a lobular zoom call next week with De Montfort University to help research for better ways to give information. I'm working for Paul doing stuff to help out, looking after Marisa & the rabble and just getting very busy with life again. What I'm trying to say is.. my house is a mess again so normal service has resumed... and it feels nice x

B**b check reminder time! If you don't check for you; check for them... they are all that count when it comes to it ❤

I felt huge gratitude this week away making memories... substantially chunkier, sprouty hair do, missing b**b, puffy scars... but I'm alive... and I can wear mascara again!

Its b**b check reminder time, I figured a hard hitting photo might nudge people to have a proper check about.

I got a clear CT scan last week so I can relax and live. It's something I am very lucky to have, not everyone gets this lucky. For all the physical & emotional damage, I will always know to be grateful because it could have been a very different story. I fought hard and its paid off so far! Phew x

So this is what a mastectomy looks like, radiotherapy colour change too, pretty isn't it! 🤔😳 It's not everyone's choice to go flat. For me last year life was more important then what I look like, you don't fight without getting a few scars & I have a young child thats top priority. Survival and seeing her to adulthood was my only priority from the start, not breast saving surgery, not reconstruction, not shying away from brutal treatment... her, always M. My world revolves around M. 20 year old me would be stunned! 😆

Now the fight is over I have reconstruction choices coming up as active treatment is over, see that diagram of an op I can have that, both natural b***s gone (no more primary lobular cancer if I have no lobules! Just secondary to fear) I can have that op resulting in 2 perky but scarred b***s with a tummy tuck included (massive benefits!) but it's a big long op, carries risks like all ops, it could fail so be a futile trauma; do I want it? I could have lefty removed in a short op and live flat (no bras is a benefit!) Decisions Decisions Decisions... its a hard decision to make.... I'm letting time help me decide... because I have time, a beautiful gift 🥰😁

Now hair! Hair is back! I have better eyebrows then before which is great. Leg hair is the opposite its barely there; bonus! So far I'm not a redhead which I'm a bit bummed about. Time, again, will tell what hair colour I'll have... its looking like I'll be like M which will make her happy! Even my hair follicles are obsessed with that kid!!!!

Signing off for now... remember to check them b***s (& balls!) and act now on any lumps, never feel awkward or silly going, its better safe then sorry. Love to you all ❤

So this is my 2nd attempt at this b**b check & update.. its hard to articulate. Sometimes being open & honest is awkward & embarrassing.

For 9 months I imagined this b**b check reminder would be a happy one, I imagined treatment ending as being a huge celebration BUT life happened over Christmas & New Year. Actually death happened, illness happened & unnecessary upset happened.

Starting with the sad; the worst news by far, the news that's so raw. My friend, the person who taught me to check for lumps, that raised my awareness of breast checking, the reason why I got my lump checked so fast, the reason I wasn't terminal by the time my cancer was found, the reason I got to be cured.. my fantastic beautiful friend Vicky died this week from her breast cancer and I'm devastated. Vicky was a courageous positive fighter, she was a brilliant loving mum, an amazing partner, daughter & friend. Vicky was too young. My age. So when I say check for lumps I really really mean CHECK. FOR. LUMPS. I don't want to lose anyone else to this disease, I don't want other children losing their parents, catch it early, give yourself a fighting chance please.

Secondly the frustrating; we all dealt with a covid Christmas again argh. So much got cancelled & postponed, our family had the same but it was 40th Birthday celebrations that got postponed too and Christmas mingling that couldn't happen as planned. After the year I've had I was really looking forward to it all. It couldn't be helped and this is life for now isn't it. This pandemic is not going away fast.

Now the unnecessary; I've had a year juggling my cancer fight & (because I am a kind person / mug) I was also helping a certain person because her certain person couldn't cope. This Christmas I was treated like 💩 by both. All we wanted was a nice healthy Christmas and with the covid issue I'd asked for a covid test and I got nastiness. Over Christmas. After 9 months fighting cancer. After 9 months of helping & doing all the hardwork. My treatment hadn't even ended and they started. Zero gratitude as always. I'm just exhausted. If this can be done at this stage when I'm bald, deformed and exhausted from cancer treatment, then it will only get worse when I'm not bald, deformed & exhausted.

When I mull over the above I see that change is needed. My fight with cancer, my friend dying from cancer, showing me life can be too short. I know something has to change; unnecessary upset can't continue to be a part of my life spoiling the times that should be happy. So after an exhausting year, big changes are coming as stress, upset & anxiety will not help me keep cancer away. Peace & harmony need to be found. Will we "eat pray love" & go travelling so Marisa can see the world, will it be a move somewhere new or will I set my boundaries right here & protect us once and for all... I'm not sure yet, time will tell.

You may wonder why I've put all this in my update... its here so people understand why life is still a bit crap & why I'm not celebrating just yet. ❤ I will celebrate soon, I promise, when it's right & when it's real 😘