smile s.art

Just siblings 😂

My mother taught me to cope with difficulties the same way she coped with them. "It will be fine," "Everyone is going through something," "You're strong, you will figure things out," "It's not the end of the world." it's not like these comforting sentences aren't comforting, because they are, but i realised that these were not the words i wanted to hear when i was struggling. I wondered if i did hear what i wanted, would i be any different? would my life and the way i treat myself and others change?

When i grew up a little older, i wondered if everyone comforted each other the way my mother did. More often than not, that was the case. living and figuring things out is hard. No one has to shoulder the pain of others when they can merely manage their own. but once in a blue moon, i came across people who would wrap me in soft hugs and ask me to let them be there for me when i was struggling to be there for myself. Who knew that a single sentence, "i'm here for you whenever you need me," "we're in this together," would be so powerful? every time this happened, i held their hands and felt relief. It's an insanely small gesture, but it always changed something big in me. I've learnt that the most essential thing that we can give and receive from each other isn't love; it's warmth. I realised that the words my mother said could never bring me warmth because at the end of the day, i was left to solve the unfamiliar problems i was facing for the first time by myself, and that made my sufferings worse because i felt more alone than i felt when i was only facing the obstacles. To know that you will never receive warmth from the ones you love and the ones who love you makes you feel like you're the loneliest thing in the world.

I've had many regrets. i had to be strong; i had no other option. maybe if i got that support system earlier, i would have been a better version of myself. still, it's not like i didn't learn anything from those experiences. Now that i'm older and wiser, i'm prepared to return the same warmth to others that i was once given. I want to let my loved ones know that there's no way i'm going to let them go through something completely on their own. Sure, there are things that they will have to figure out by themselves, but the least i could do is to keep my door open in case they ever want help. i wish they don't just survive but overcome and live a better and healthier life. There's no reason to unnecessarily break your heart each time just for the sake of being strong. you can be a force in softness too. If these soft gestures could reach even a single person, that will be enough.

This is how i heal and overcome. This is how i choose to get my closure.

Have you ever feel like your self-esteem is up and down? Someday you feel like you can do everything you want, whereas, some day feel so down and ask yourself if you are capable of pursuing your dream. I consider it as a period of self-doubt.
Keep going and keep smiling 😊
Art will always with you 💗

You don't need to constantly run and chase after things. Sometimes slowing down and taking your time allow you to really see the beauty that's been surrounding you all this time 🌸🍃☁️☀️

.art

“Dear Daddy, no matter where I go in life, you’ll always be my number one man.”❤🥰