Haja Zainab Kamara

Parents, Stop Gaslighting Your Children with Emotional Pressure

In many homes today, children are growing up under the heavy weight of expectations that are far too big for their young shoulders. Parents often say, “You are my only hope,” or “I’m counting on you to change this family’s story.”
While these words may sound inspiring, they often carry an emotional burden that pushes children into silent struggles forcing them to grow up too quickly, sacrificing their own peace just to satisfy the home.

This subtle form of emotional gaslighting where parents project their unfulfilled dreams or hardships onto their children creates deep psychological stress. Instead of feeling supported, many young people feel trapped by guilt and obligation, believing their worth depends entirely on their ability to “make it” and rescue their families from poverty or pain.

Across Sierra Leone and many parts of Africa, this mindset is widespread. A child’s achievements are often seen as the family’s redemption. But when a child becomes the family’s only hope, childhood itself is lost.
Many students work multiple jobs, suppress their emotions, or endure depression quietly, fearing to disappoint the people who love them most.

Parents may not intend harm they often speak from love, sacrifice, and hope. But love should empower, not pressure. Children need guidance, not guilt. They need encouragement to find their own paths, not to live out someone else’s unfinished dreams.

Let’s start changing the conversation at home. Instead of saying, “You are my only hope,” let’s say, “I believe in you, and I’ll always be proud of you.”
That small shift can turn pressure into empowerment and help our children grow, not just succeed.

Women need other women in their lives who think they are amazing.
No competition, no jealousy, no hate, only "I love you, I'm here for you, I believe in you, you got this" kind of energy.