Total Ear Hygiene

Parents: “Children are unpredictable and move without warning.”

Also parents: “Let’s put a stick in the ear and see how we go.”

“I can suddenly hear magic.”

That’s a lot more poetic than “we removed a giant lump of wax.”

Thanks, Pauline.

11 out of 10.

Leah clearly understands how reviews work around here.

You’re welcome.

When you buy a Personal Ear Camera thinking it’s just for fun… and then 👀 surprise, you’ve actually got wax.

Cue me: “Yes Jatin, you’ve got wax. Book an appointment.”

It’s raining again, Brisbane. Which means two things:

1. The clinic is feeling exceptionally cosy.
2. You might finally be able to hear the rain hitting the roof once we remove the small candle-making business from your ear canal.

Clementine understood the assignment.

Book the ear clean. Enjoy the ambience. Hear weather in HD.

You’re welcome.

Tayla is back from maternity leave (again) and once again wandering the clinic in questionable socks and Crocs while being exceptionally good at her job.

Ryland is trying to act normal about it, but is actually struggling to contain her delight.

Paris is back from maternity leave and once again available to professionally judge the inside of your ears.

The clinic has regained an alarming amount of competence and emotional stability overnight. Ryland is trying not to take it personally.

Fungal infections - when the ear canal has been growing its own little science experiment.

Doris’s ear got the full clean-out today, plus a running commentary about the difficulties of a fungal infection.

Anyway. Less fungus. More dignity.

Topher came in and generously provided a two-for-one ear cleaning experience today, which feels very considerate in this economy.

One of his ear canals was quite narrow, which is always interesting to show because people assume narrow canals automatically mean difficult or unsafe cleaning. In reality, with proper visualisation and the right tools, you can still work very precisely in small spaces. Tiny canal. Big confidence.

Also discussed during this appointment: an Australian movie one of my patients acts in, which I fully expected to casually half-watch and instead ended up finding genuinely lovely. Unexpectedly wholesome. Strong recommendation from me.

Anyway. Two clean ears, one video, and approximately six unrelated conversations later… here we are. You’re welcome.

Geraldine came in for ear cleaning and somehow we ended up discussing the time I wore an eye patch trying to “fix” my astigmatism… only to later discover that apparently that only works if you’re a child and your brain is still flexible. Bit late for that.

Anyway. Geraldine’s ear turned out significantly better than my decision-making skills.

You’re welcome.