Chill Belfast by Chris Hoey

April 1999.

Pre Instagram.
Pre Facebook.
Pre smartphones.
Pre internet.

Back then if you wanted to advertise massage in Belfast, you ended up in the Belfast Telegraph.

This article was written by a Belfast journalist after visiting me and Lynn sometime around the late Jurassic period. Lynn was still skinny enough to disappear sideways through a doorway and my hair had not yet started negotiations with the incoming grey.

Journalists occasionally hear one thing and print something entirely different involving Roman or**es and “sexy massage.” I got absolutely tortured by friends for months after this came out.

For the record, I categorically did not say any of that. But in fairness, “middle-aged man calmly presses muscles for a living” probably wouldn’t have sold quite as many newspapers.

Modern life has become one long battle for attention.

Phones buzz. Screens glow. Most people have not sat quietly with their own mind in years.

This summer I’m running a series of free one-hour mindfulness taster evenings at Chill in Belfast leading into longer courses beginning later this year.

No religion.
No guru behaviour.
No pretending you’ll become instantly peaceful after one session while still checking emails in the toilet.

Just practical attention training for modern people whose nervous systems are permanently switched on.

Simple breathing.
Movement.
Stillness.
Awareness training.
A chance to slow the machinery down for an hour.

Small groups. Relaxed atmosphere. Beginners welcome.

📍 The Room, 60 University Street, Belfast
🕢 Tuesdays & Wednesdays • 19:30–20:30

DM for details.

Modern life has become one long battle for attention.

Phones buzz. Screens glow. Most people have not sat quietly with their own mind in years.

This summer I’m running a series of free one hour mindfulness taster evenings at Chill in Belfast leading into longer courses beginning in September.

No religion.
No guru behaviour.
No pretending you’ll become instantly peaceful.

Just practical attention training for modern people whose nervous systems are permanently switched on.

Relaxed atmosphere. Useful techniques and a few laughs. No experience needed.

Think less mystic on a mountain.
More learning how to step out of the noise for an hour.

Free to anyone genuinely interested.

Message me for dates and details.

Ran the Belfast Marathon? Fair play 👏

Quick word before you go booking a massage.

Right now your legs aren’t just tight… they’ve taken a hit. There’s micro damage, inflammation is up, and your body has already started repairing.

That soreness over the next day or two? That’s the process doing its job. Going in too early, especially with deep work, tends to stir things up and can leave you sorer for longer.

As a rough guide:
3 to 5 days if you’re an experienced runner
7 to 10 days if you’re really feeling it

In the meantime… eat well, hydrate, move a bit, then rest.

Timing matters.

The Surprisingly Important Reasons to Cancel Your Massage

There are times when a massage is exactly what you need, and times when it’s about as useful as bringing a deckchair to a house fire.

This is about knowing the difference.

First one’s simple. If you’re sick, don’t come. Cold, flu, COVID, stomach issues, or just that vague “something’s not right” feeling… your body is already working away behind the scenes trying to sort itself out. Massage might feel relaxing, but it still asks something of the system. It nudges, it shifts, it adds load. When your immune system is already busy, that’s not helpful. And, said with love, I don’t want your germs, and neither do the next few people through the door. Send me a message, we’ll reschedule, no drama.

The second one is less obvious. Deep relaxation can loosen more than muscles. It can bring things up. For most people, that’s fine. For some, it isn’t. If you’re carrying heavy anxiety, unresolved trauma, or you’ve been holding things down by staying constantly busy, lying still in a quiet room can let that surface. Not gently, not neatly… just there.

Here’s the honest bit. I’m not a psychotherapist or a psychiatrist. I’m very good at what I do, but what I do is skilled physical work. If something big comes up, I’m not the right person to guide you through it, and the last thing I want is someone walking out worse than they came in, with no proper support around them. If you know there’s something sitting under the surface that might take over, massage isn’t the place to wrestle with it. That belongs in a setting designed for it.

Same idea with mindfulness classes. If you’re sick, stay at home. Nobody wants a group session that turns into a germ exchange. And if you’re dealing with something heavy, mindfulness can help, but only if you’re able to meet what shows up without being overwhelmed by it. If you’re unsure, speak to the right kind of professional first, then come in when the timing’s right.

This isn’t about turning people away. It’s about doing the job properly. Most people come in, switch off, and leave feeling like someone quietly turned the volume down on life. A small percentage, maybe ten percent, need a different kind of support first. Knowing the difference is part of the craft, and I’d rather lose a booking than send someone out the door rattled and alone.

Tired… but wired?

That’s trainable.
You’ve just never been shown how.

SWITCH
Practical Mindfulness

For people who: - Can’t switch off at night
-Feel constantly “on”
- Reach for their phone without even thinking
- Are a bit too up to date with the news cycle

📍 The Room, Belfast
📅 Tuesdays or Wednesdays in June
(choose one night per week)
⏱ 4 weekly sessions
👥 6 people max
💷 £95

With Chris Hoey

Learn to switch off properly.

Message “SWITCH” for more info.

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