Tabitha Isobel

Hi friends :)

I know so many of you have been with me since day one of me finding out I’m autistic and so I wanted to give you a little update about where I’m at 🤍

I’ve been struggling more lately so I’ve been more quiet on social media.

My capacity is increasing since burnout hit but with increased capacity has came with so much internalised shame, more grief and feeling so incredibly lost about where I go from here, and how I accommodate my life.

A lot of government systems that are supposed to support, I’ve found haven’t been so great when it comes to autism.

I actually referred myself for therapy a few months ago, had an assessment and was put on a waiting list for talking therapy and CBT to help with depression and processing autism… only to be told weeks later that they actually didn’t have the resources to support me as an autistic woman.

Thankfully I got in contact with a local autism charity- Daisy Chain, and I have my first appointment with them coming up in July.

I’ve also been going through work capability assessments and constant demands from a UC work coach & constantly talking to my GP about fit notes.

All of this has been causing an increase in overwhelm for me as I’m constantly terrified I’ll be forced into traditional jobs that I know aren’t sustainable for me, and to be honest now I’ve experienced the severity of burnout and depletion of capacity, I’m terrified I’ll have to endure that again.

…Constant shutdowns, meltdowns and struggling with everything. Using knife and forks, going mute, staring at walls for hours, days, weeks. Feeling so embarrassed by how much support I’ve needed with such mundane things.

(There’s no shame in needing support btw, it’s just more grief Ive been navigating from believing I was more capable than I was my whole life)

I’m not out of this burnout yet, but I am doing a lot better than I was which I try to stay thankful for, all those small wins are everything.

So whilst I’ve been pretty quiet on here please know that I am so grateful that you’re here and I will be back to posting hopefully very soon 🫂

Tabi xx

autistic burnout has been a struggle to say the least 😅

and every day I am regaining more and more capacity and I believe a lot of that is because I’ve had to surrender completely to the fact that right now I’m not capable of living life “normally”

my capacity has been at an all time low
my shutdowns have increased to basically daily
my meltdowns a lot more frequent too

it’s like the world got dialled up to 100

but what’s been helping me through it is my spirituality, my trust and belief in the support from the universe

it’s the little habits I’ve been doing daily and weekly that have been given my days more meaning

& allowing me to regulate my incredibly dysregulated nervous system

finding pockets of joy in each day

even though the world has felt loud, chaotic and dark

if you’re also going through burnout or struggling with life lately

I hope you find your little glimmers too

Sending you my love always,

Tabi xx

Ps. If you’re not already following make sure you are!

no one tells you that being autistic can be expensive 🤍

not in a dramatic way
not in a “feel sorry for me” way 😅

just in a quiet, everyday way

paying extra to feel okay

to feel safe

to function in a world that wasn’t built for your nervous system

headphones so things aren’t painfully loud

takeaway when your body won’t let you cook

taxis because public transport is too much

buying the same “safe” things over and over

losing money when your capacity suddenly disappears

it adds up even if no one sees it

and that’s not even talking about how hard it can be
to get a job
to keep a job
to work consistently in a system that doesn’t accommodate you

so you’re navigating higher costs
with less stability
at the same time

and from the outside it can look like
“high maintenance”
“bad with money”
“too sensitive”

but it’s not that

it’s adaptation
it’s support
it’s doing what you need to survive in your body

and maybe if you’ve ever felt guilty for the way you spend money

or like you’re “too much” for needing these things

you’re not

you were just never given the language for it
and the space to need what you need without shame

i see you 🤍

What’s something you couldn’t live without?

-
Ps. all my accommodations I keep linked in my bio :)
I hope you find them helpful too 🤍

I get asked a lot how I knew my panic attacks weren’t actually panic attacks

and honestly… I didn’t at the time

I just knew something didn’t fully make sense

it wasn’t fear
it was too much

figuring that out changed everything for me

I stopped blaming myself
I started understanding myself

and I realised I wasn’t broken
I just didn’t have the right language yet

so I made something I really wish I had back then 🤍

if anxiety has never fully explained your life…
this might help you too 🫂🤍

you don’t see this side of autism in awareness posts 🫶🏼

you don’t see the masking
or the shutdowns
or the burnout
or the years of being misunderstood

and when you don’t see it…
it’s easy to feel like you’re the only one experiencing it this way

you’re not

a lot of what gets labelled as “too much”
is actually a nervous system that hasn’t been supported properly

and that’s not your fault

🤍

if this felt like you, save it for the days you forget
or send it to someone who might finally understand you a little better

Sending you so much love, make sure you are kinder to yourself today 🫂🤍

they thought i was panicking because i lived alone…
but it was actually autistic overwhelm

A lot of what I used to call “anxiety”
was actually autistic overwhelm and meltdowns.

When I moved into my first apartment alone in my final year of university,

people assumed I was panicking because I was alone, scared, or not ready to cope independently.

But that wasn’t what happened.

I had my first evening in my apartment planned.

My mum had left, I was getting settled in,
and I was about to put on Tinkerbell (my fav comfort movie) and have the cutest, girly night.

You bet I had the best stash of chocolate 🍫

Then came the knocking.
The social pressure.
The expectation to join in.

And then the intercom…
loud, sudden, and impossible to ignore.

They kept ringing it.
Again and again.
For an hour.

And my body broke.

At the time, I called it a panic attack
because that was the only language I had.

I had “panic attacks” pretty regularly.

But with the lens of autism now,
I can finally see it differently.

It was an autistic meltdown.

Not because I was scared.
Not because I “couldn’t cope.”

But because everything became too loud, too sudden, too socially demanding, too fast.

That reframe matters.

Because when you mislabel overwhelm as anxiety,
you miss what your body was actually asking for:

safety
quiet
predictability
space

If you relate, this series is for you 🤍
Follow for part 5 🫂🤍