Amity Health

I recently worked with a young man whose GCSEs are next year.
This year, during school exams, he had started freezing. He knew the work, but when he got into the exam room, something happened. His body went into panic, his mind went blank, and he couldn't get his thoughts down on paper.
This is so important for parents to understand:
Freezing in an exam is not laziness.
It is not lack of intelligence.
It is not "not trying hard enough."
It is often the nervous system moving into protection mode.
After a couple of sessions, we worked on the pattern beneath the freeze response and helped his mind and body feel safer in the exam setting. He has now reported that he has got out of that cycle of freezing and is able to write again.
That is huge.
And now the work becomes: how does he use the summer well?
Not by pushing hard all summer.
Not by ignoring school completely.
But by balancing rest, confidence-building and small, manageable habits so he doesn't go back in September feeling on the back foot.
This is the kind of work I love - helping young people realise that the block is not who they are. It is something that can shift. And now is exactly the time to do that so if you have teenager with important exams coming up next year now is the time to get into a good mindset and patterns.

For some teenagers, the stress doesn't end when they walk out of the exam hall.
It just changes shape.
Instead of, "What if I can't answer the question? Or can’t remember all I have revised?”
It becomes, "What if I didn't do enough?"
"What if I've failed?"
"What if everyone else has done better?"
"What if I've let people down? Let myself down?”
This is why July can feel unsettled for some young people. They are not revising anymore, but they are still waiting.
If your teen is anxious about results, try not to jump too quickly into reassurance.
Instead of:
"You'll be fine."
Try:
"I can see this is still sitting with you. Do you want to talk it through, or would it help to have a break from thinking about it?"
Sometimes teenagers don't need certainty.
They need steadiness.

A lot of teenagers hold it together through exams and then collapse afterwards.
They sleep more.
They lose motivation.
They seem emotional or flat.
They may say they are fine, but their behaviour says otherwise.
This can be the post-exam crash.
When the pressure comes off, the body sometimes finally allows the feelings to surface. Tiredness, worry, frustration, disappointment, fear about results, and even anger can all come up once the immediate exam period is over.
As parents, it can be tempting to say, "But it's done now, just relax."
A more helpful response might be:
"I know the exams are over, but your body may still be catching up. Let's give you a bit of space and then gently work out what you need."
Rest first.
Reflection second.
Planning third.
That order matters.

Exams may be over, but that doesn't always mean the stress has disappeared.
For some teenagers, the body is still holding the pressure.
They may be exhausted, emotional, flat, irritable, tearful, snappy, withdrawn - or simply unsure what to do with themselves now the structure has gone.
This is not your teen being difficult.
Sometimes it is the nervous system slowly coming down after weeks or months of running on adrenaline.
July can be a beautiful month to help them reset. Not by pushing them straight into revision if they have important exams coming up next year, or filling every space, but by gently helping them rest, reconnect and rebuild confidence.
The aim is not to forget school completely.
The aim is to restore capacity so they can return in September feeling steadier.
If your teen still seems affected by exam stress, even though exams are over, that is worth paying attention to.

For Men's Health Week, I want to talk about boys and emotions.
Many boys grow up receiving subtle messages that they should be strong, cope, push through, not cry, not make a fuss, not talk too much about how they feel.
Then we wonder why, as teenagers or men, they may find it hard to say:
"I'm anxious."
"I'm overwhelmed."
"I feel lost."
"I need help."
"I don't know what's happening to me."
Emotional health is not weakness.
Being able to name what is going on inside is a life skill.
For teenage boys especially, distress can sometimes show up as anger, withdrawal, risk-taking, gaming, silence, sarcasm or refusal.
But underneath the behaviour there may be fear, shame, pressure, sadness or a nervous system that simply does not know how to switch off.
We need to make it safer for boys and men to speak before they reach breaking point.

Loneliness does not always look like being alone.
Sometimes it looks like sitting at the dinner table with your family and still feeling unseen.
Sometimes it looks like a teenager surrounded by friends online, yet feeling disconnected in real life.
Sometimes it looks like a parent who is doing everything for everyone, but has no space to say, "I'm struggling too."
This week is Loneliness Awareness Week, and it feels so relevant to the parent-teen divide.
Because one of the hardest forms of loneliness is feeling far away from someone you love.
A parent may think:
"I don't know how to reach them anymore."
A teenager may think:
"They just don't get me."
And both may be hurting.
The bridge back often begins with small moments, not big speeches.
A softer tone.
A car journey.
A walk.
A less defensive response.
A moment of listening without immediately correcting.
Connection is built in tiny signals of safety.

I recently completed further training in su***de and self-awareness.
It is not an easy subject to talk about, but it is an important one.
In my work with adults, teenagers and parents, I often sit with people who are carrying deep emotional pain - sometimes quietly, sometimes behind a smile, sometimes behind "I'm fine."
Training like this matters because the words we choose matter.
The way we listen matters.
The way we respond matters.
Sometimes people do not need fixing in that moment.
They need someone steady enough to hear them.
Someone who will not panic, minimise, dismiss or rush them out of what they are feeling.
This is not about assuming we always know what someone is going through.
It is about being willing to ask better questions.
To listen more deeply.
To take emotional pain seriously.
And to help people access the right support when they need it.
If you are struggling right now, please do not sit with it alone. In the UK, Samaritans are available free on 116 123, day or night. If you feel at immediate risk, please contact emergency services or NHS urgent mental health support.

This week is Carers Week, and I want to gently acknowledge the emotional load that so many parents carry.
You may not always think of yourself as a carer.
But if you are supporting a teenager through anxiety, school refusal, depression, exam stress, neurodivergence, trauma, low confidence or emotional overwhelm, you may be carrying far more than people realise.
The worry.
The checking in.
The second-guessing.
The late-night conversations.
The trying to say the right thing.
The holding it together when inside you feel anything but calm.
Parents often come to me saying, "I don't know what to do anymore."
And underneath that is often:
"I'm scared."
"I'm exhausted."
"I miss them."
"I want to help, but I don't know how."
Supporting a young person starts with supporting the adult too.
Because a steadier parent does not mean a perfect parent.
It means a parent who has somewhere to put their own fear, so it does not have to lead every conversation.

I have been quietly working on something for a long time.
A book for parents.
A book for teenagers.
A book for the space in between.
It is called The Parent-Teen Divide.
It explores why so many loving parents and struggling teenagers end up feeling miles apart - not because the love has gone, but because stress, fear, hormones, screens, pressure, anxiety and nervous system overwhelm can all get in the way of connection.
So often, parents are trying so hard to get it right.
And so often, teenagers are trying to cope with feelings they do not yet have the language for.
This book is about helping parents become the bridge.
Not by being perfect.
Not by getting every conversation right.
But by learning how to steady themselves, listen differently, and understand what may be happening underneath the behaviour.
More soon.

I’m really pleased to share that my new article has just gone live in Grazia.

In it, I talk about parenting teenagers — and why so many parents can feel blamed, overwhelmed, shut out, or unsure how to help, even when they are doing their absolute best.

This is something I see so often in my work: loving parents trying to reach teenagers who may be anxious, distant, angry, withdrawn or under pressure — and both sides feeling misunderstood.

The article explores why connection matters, why “fixing” is not always the answer, and how we can begin to bridge that parent–teen divide with more understanding, steadiness and compassion.

You can read the article here:

https://graziadaily.co.uk/life/parenting/parenting-teenagers/

And on that note… this is also very much the heart of what I was quietly working on during the first part of this year.

My next book, The Parent–Teen Divide, is coming out in July.

More on that soon.

Parents of teenagers are more stressed than ever - and here's how to get through it Parents of teens are now among the UKs most stressed group - and there's a reason why. Read more on Grazia.