Sophie Kirkton Breathwork

I don’t talk a lot about staying calm for parenting by using breathwork much at all. I find the narrative around just make yourself calm to be a better parent really insulting.

It just further feeds into this narrative that we are somehow broken and need to be fixed. If we simply rise above (insert thing that is genuinely causing an issue in your family) and stay calm it will all be better or better still just stop happening.

It’s undeniable that if we can stay regulated and maintain clarity of thought when we get our buttons pushed we are more likely to respond in ways that we won’t regret later. It’s an incredible tool to use in the moment when you need to stay calm in the moment. But it’s not going to change things long term unless we move the focus away from it being about us and fixing ourselves and look at the bigger picture. Where the behaviour is coming from, what needs to change within the family unit.

I heard someone say that as women we are the basenote to our family and I couldn’t agree more. But to me that means, stop ignoring your needs, nourish yourself, rest. Ensure everyone is doing their bit so you can show up in the way you need to. It involves difficult conversations, boundaries and practice. It’s more than staying calm, maybe the most regulating thing you will do is have a really difficult series of conversations with a partner. Regulation isn’t calm.

Breathwork can be utterly life changing but it may not solve all of your pain points in life….

Sophie x

BUT only when the responsibility of change is

PSA for hay fever sufferers!

With a bit of practice kids love this one too and it works! I recommend the walking version with kids as it helps take their mind off holding their breath.

If it doesn’t work the first time keep going and you’ll need to repeat it a few times if you’re really stuffy and keep doing it when your nose blocks up again.

The cruel irony is that the less we breathe through our nose the more blocked it becomes so it’s worth preserving.

Make sure you follow along for all things breathwork

Sophie x

The bilateral tapping helps shift your body out of fight and flight and the hug is, well a hug! It still counts when you give it to yourself 😊

The cross body tapping helps engage both hemispheres of the brain and helps with emotional processing which is why it’s a family fave. Great for those shaky moments after little people have big feelings and don’t quite know what to do with themselves.

I find it hypnotic and oh so grounding.

Give it a go and let me know how it feels because after all that’s what it’s all about 🦋

This one’s for that feeling when you’ve grabbed a moment outside during your lunch break and wish it could last a little longer.

Present moment awareness can make time feel like it’s standing still. And honestly it doesn’t matter if you have 5 or 15 it still works!

You can do this anywhere, city, park, building site sat in the sun or in the shade.

Just listen in one ear if you’ve got headphones on so you can hear the world around you. Let me know in the comments and I’ll send over the episode.

Sophie x

How am I just realising this is an option!!!!
If you’ve ever found yourself lost and thinking I wish that breath could be a little longer for me OR that breath is a little too hard for me YOU CAN CHANGE IT!!!

I’ll be making all the recordings in a way that makes it more flexible from now on.

In my world this is big news, you wouldn’t believe the amount of time I think about this stuff

Please can you let me know how u get on with it??? I would absolutely love your feedback

Sophie x

It’s not what you wanted to hear is it?

Im genuinely annoyed that the answer isn’t push harder or do more with intensity. I’d have received many awards if it was 😬 And when I say intense I’m not kidding either……… In my 20’s I followed the ‘conventional quick fix wisdom’ to just eat something healthy when I felt the urge to binge eat.

I ate so many carrots that the palms of my hands turned orange 🍊✌️

The truth is is looks slightly different for all of us, my slow may not be your slow. My gentle might be your intense but the underlying truth remains ⬇️

You want positive change to stick longer than a couple of weeks? Slow down and stop implementing too many changes at once

Sick of falling off the wagon every couple of months? Layer it in even slower, allow time to integrate the change and test if it’s useful for YOU

Feel like you’ve been stuck in a self improvement and self abandonment cycle since your 30’s? You’ve probably tried most things but have you

Being at ease in myself never came easy to me and I never take for granted that it might not come easy to you too.

All this just to really say that I know this stuff isn’t easy and you’re probably doing loads better than you realise. Don’t let this fast paced optimisation obsessed world kid you into thinking you’re broken and need to be fixed x