Osti's Pubic Hair Barber OPHB

We're talking the full winter coat, with thigh invasion. No knickers will be able to conceal the crimes taking place here, but you don't seem to mind. You are either very confident (you have tricks up your sleeve that would short-circuit any initial notions that you should have tidied things up a bit) or very lazy. Because of the tricks. Still. At least it's warm down there.

Landing strip

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There is a certain amount of pride that comes with a full bush. A non-conformist stance that suggests a history of blowing things up in the science lab at school, skinny-dipping in front of old Mr Matley, the startled and confused head of French, on the GCSE trip to Lake Annecy, and eating half the fruit bowl during a break in your A-level still-life art exam. Your borders might be tidy, but your lawn has been left to fallow. 'Love her, but leave her wild,' as Atticus Finch quite rightly said.

REALLY full bush

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Maboea ha ebe last thing you worry about. Tloo re a kute😌

Ke Bula likheo tsa mesebetsi, 😚