Cosmetic and skin care

"I have a personality you can't handle. "

If laughing were a sport, I'd be a professional athlete!

"My brain has too many tabs open. "

"I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already. "

I'm not lazy, I'm just conserving energy for important things.

"I have a personality you can't handle. "

"Exercise? I thought you said extra fries! "

"When nothing goes right, go left. "

I can’t clean my room because I get distracted by all the cool stuff I find.

"If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel. "

"Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver. "

"I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by. "