Dimensions by Jireh Salon

Some of y’all spend more time investigating other people’s marriages than inspecting your own.

You got binoculars on my covenant, a magnifying glass on my husband, and a private detective assignment on my household.

“Are they doing good?”
“Did they argue?”
“Are they still together?”
“She ain’t posted him today…”

BABY, SWEEP AROUND YOUR OWN FRONT DOOR BEFORE YOU TRY TO SWEEP AROUND MINE! 🧹😂

Some of y’all are so busy looking over the fence that the weeds in your own yard are taller than you are.

Whether my marriage is having a mountain-top moment or a valley moment, that’s still MY MARRIAGE. And while you’re counting how many times I post my spouse, have you checked on your own attitude, finances, prayer life, or family lately?

Listen, every marriage has moments. The difference is some people are building while others are browsing.

Stop standing outside people’s windows trying to figure out what’s going on in their house. Go home and clean up your own.

The same energy you use gathering information about me could be used to improve your own life.

And let me help you with something…

If my marriage is doing good, you’ll be upset.
If my marriage is struggling, you’ll be excited.

So either way, you’re not qualified to be in the conversation. 😂

Stay out of grown folks’ business and tend to your own garden.

Now grab your broom and get to sweeping. 🧹
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Hey everyone! My name is Adrienne DeRamus, but I’m solid enough to be called Coach A.

I am a wife of 18 years, a mother of six, a grandmother, minister, marriage advocate, entrepreneur, and licensed cosmetologist with over 24 years of experience. Alongside my husband, Charlie, I have dedicated my life to building strong families, healthy marriages, thriving businesses, and a deeper relationship with God.

I am the founder of Devoted to YAH Prayer Ministries, where my passion is teaching God’s Word with clarity, conviction, and practical application. My mission is to help people break free from deception, heal from brokenness, strengthen their covenant relationships, and walk in obedience to God.

I am also the co-owner of Dimensions by Jireh Hair Salon, where I specialize in restoring confidence through healthy hair care, education, and transformation.

Most importantly, I am a woman who has lived what I teach. My messages come from experience, prayer, study, victories, failures, lessons learned, and God’s faithfulness through it all. I don’t believe in sugarcoating truth. I believe in speaking the truth in love so that people can grow, heal, and become everything God has called them to be.

Whether you’re here to learn about marriage, faith, personal growth, servitude , family, or purpose, my prayer is that something shared here will challenge you, encourage you, and draw you closer to God.

Thank you 🫶🏾for being here. Let’s grow together, build strong legacies, and honor God in every area of our lives.

— Coach A

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STOP CARING MORE ABOUT PEOPLE THAN THEY CARE ABOUT THEMSELVES.

Some people will train you to carry burdens they refuse to carry.

They won’t 🙏🏾 , but expect you to pray.
They won’t change, but expect you to rescue.
They won’t take responsibility, but expect you to fix the consequences of their decisions.

And if you’re not careful, you’ll spend so much time trying to save them that you’ll neglect your own assignment.

Listen 👂 carefully:

You cannot want freedom for someone more than they want freedom for themselves.

You cannot heal people who are committed to staying broken.

You cannot force growth on people who are comfortable making excuses.

Some people don’t want solutions. They want sympathy.
They don’t want accountability. They want attention.
They don’t want transformation. They want pity.

And pity is dangerous because it keeps people comfortable in dysfunction.

JESUS NEVER 👎🏾 pitied people.

He had COMPASSION.

Compassion says, “I see your suffering, and I will help point you toward truth.”

Pity says, “Let me sit here and make excuses for why you never change.”

Compassion empowers.
Pity enables.

Compassion tells the lame man to get up and walk.
Pity leaves him laying there year after year.

Some of you are exhausted 😩 because you’re carrying grown people who refuse to carry themselves.

You answer every crisis.✅
You solve every problem.✅
You provide every rescue plan.✅

And they keep coming back because you’ve become their crutch instead of allowing GOD to become their Deliverer.

It’s time to release people into the hands of GOD.

Love them.❤️
Pray for them.🙏🏾
Encourage them.🫶🏾

But stop drowning trying to save people who won’t even step into the boat.

You are not their savior.

YAHUSHA 🔥
already filled that position.

Stop carrying responsibilities that GOD never assigned to you.

Compassion? Yes.

Pity? Absolutely not.‼️
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Some men say they want MORE THAN ONE WIFE, but can barely love, lead, provide for, protect, and be faithful to the ONE they already have. SMH 🤦🏾‍♀️

Brother, before you start talking about a second wife, have you mastered being a husband to the first one?

✅Can you manage your own house well?
✅Can you lead in prayer?
✅Can you communicate without anger?
✅Can you pay the bills? ON TIME🧐
✅Can you remain faithful when temptation shows up?
✅Can you shepherd the heart of the woman “YAH” 🔥 already entrusted to you?

A lot of men want the PRIVILEGES of multiple wives but not the RESPONSIBILITIES that come with multiple wives.

❌Marriage is not a collection hobby.
❌Women are not trophies.
❌Wives are not status symbols.

A RIGHTEOUS man understands that every covenant relationship comes with ACCOUNTABILITY before GOD.

Stop fantasizing about multiplying wives when you haven’t multiplied wisdom, discipline, patience, self-control, provision, or leadership.

The question isn’t, “Can I handle another wife?”

The question is, “Am I being the husband GOD expects me to be right now?”

Master what is in your hand before reaching for more. GREEDY SELF 🤦🏾‍♀️
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STOP COMPARING YOUR SPOUSE TO SOMEONE ELSE.

One of the fastest ways to poison your marriage is to sit around imagining that somebody else’s husband or wife would be a better fit for you than the one GOD gave you.

You see another woman’s husband opening doors, buying gifts, posting her online, and suddenly you’re dissatisfied with your own husband.

You see another man’s wife looking glamorous, submissive, or supportive, and suddenly you’re frustrated with your own wife.

But what you don’t see are their struggles, their battles, their prayers, their tears, their disagreements, and the work they put in behind closed doors.

Comparison is a thief.

It steals gratitude.
It steals contentment.
It steals honor.
And eventually, it can steal your marriage.

The enemy loves to make you focus on what someone else has while ignoring the treasure sitting right in front of you.

Instead of comparing your spouse, INVEST in your spouse.

Instead of fantasizing about another person, PRAY for your spouse.

Instead of looking across the fence, start watering your own grass.

The truth is, many people walked away from faithful spouses chasing what looked better, only to discover they traded gold for glitter.

Marriage is not about finding a perfect person. It’s about two imperfect people allowing GOD to perfect them through covenant.

Before you start wishing for somebody else’s husband or wife, ask yourself:

“Have I become the husband or wife that GOD called ME to be?”

Because the problem may not be your spouse.

The problem may be that comparison has blinded you to the blessing GOD already placed in your hands.

Guard your heart.
Honor your covenant.
And stop comparing what GOD gave you to what belongs to somebody else.

“Let each one examine his own work…” — Galatians 6:4

Build. Pray🙏🏾 . Repent‼️. Grow.💪🏾

But stop looking over the fence.
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LET’S TALK ABOUT WHY GOD WARNED BELIEVERS ABOUT MARRYING UNBELIEVERS.

Many people think GOD was trying to be controlling when He said not to be unequally yoked. No. He was trying to protect you.

Marriage is hard enough when TWO people are serving GOD.

Now imagine one person wanting to pray and the other doesn’t.

One person wanting to honor the Word and the other thinks it’s foolish.

One person seeking GOD for decisions while the other is following their feelings, friends, culture, or the world.

That’s not unity. That’s conflict.

How can two walk together unless they agree?

The believer wants holiness.
The unbeliever wants happiness on their own terms.

The believer wants to forgive.
The unbeliever may want revenge.

The believer wants GOD at the center.
The unbeliever may want themselves at the center.

Eventually, somebody is pulling and somebody is resisting.

The believer often ends up grieving because they can’t share the most important relationship in their life—their relationship with GOD—with the person they sleep beside every night.

Can GOD save the unbelieving spouse? Absolutely.

Can GOD work miracles? Absolutely.

But many believers are carrying burdens today because they ignored a warning that was meant to spare them years of heartache.

GOD never gives commands to punish us.

He gives them to protect us.

Before you say “I do,” ask yourself:

Can we pray together?
Can we worship together?
Can we raise children in agreement?
Can we pursue GOD together?

Because physical attraction will fade.
Money comes and goes.
Feelings rise and fall.

But your faith will be tested for the rest of your marriage.

Marriage is not just about finding someone you can live with.

It’s about finding someone you can walk with GOD with.

“Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers…” — 2 Corinthians 6:14

GOD said it for a reason.
Wisdom listens before pain teaches.
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WHEN YOUR SPOUSE ISN’T WALKING WITH GOD

This is where many believers get tripped up. Your husband or wife is not walking in agreement with the WORD, so you decide to stop walking in agreement too. Now everybody is in rebellion.

But that’s not what GOD called you to do.

The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 7 that if the unbelieving spouse is willing to stay, DON’T LEAVE THEM. Your assignment is not to become their Holy Spirit. Your assignment is to LIVE THE WORD before them.

Stop arguing and start praying.

Stop preaching at them every five minutes and start demonstrating Christ.

Stop trying to force transformation and trust GOD to do what only HE can do.

You cannot nag someone into repentance.
You cannot manipulate someone into holiness.
You cannot threaten someone into loving GOD.

But you can remain faithful.

You can remain respectful.
You can remain prayerful.
You can remain obedient to GOD regardless of what your spouse chooses.

The real test of your faith is not how you behave when everything is going well. The real test is whether you will still obey GOD when your spouse isn’t.

Believer, don’t let another person’s disobedience become your excuse for disobedience.

Keep serving GOD.
Keep loving.
Keep praying.
Keep setting a godly example.

And if your spouse never changes, make sure GOD still finds YOU faithful.

Many people want GOD to change their spouse while GOD is looking at them and asking, “Will YOU continue to trust Me, obey Me, and represent Me even in this situation?”

That is maturity.
That is faith.
That is true discipleship.

Your spouse’s choices belong to them.

Your obedience belongs to YOU.

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Let’s tell the truth.

If you have been married 3, 4, or 5 times and every marriage “just didn’t work,” at some point you have to stop blaming everybody else and ask:

What is broken in me that I keep carrying into every covenant?

Because marriage is not musical chairs.
This is not husband swapping.
This is not wife swapping.
This is not, “I’ll try this one until I get tired and then move on to the next.”

GOD does not play with covenant.

Too many people are changing spouses but refusing to change their heart. They are leaving marriages but keeping the same pride, selfishness, lust, bitterness, unforgiveness, rebellion, poor communication, and lack of accountability.

Then they remarry and wonder why the same problems show up in a different body.

Baby, the problem may not be the marriage.
The problem may be what you keep refusing to let GOD heal.

We need to do better.

Before you run to another ring, another wedding, another relationship, another last name, get before GOD and let Him deal with YOU.

Because if you don’t heal, repent, mature, and grow, you will keep repeating cycles and calling it “starting over.”

Marriage is holy.
Covenant is serious.
And GOD is not pleased with all this swapping, quitting, and refusing to be transformed.

Stop changing spouses and start letting GOD change you.

Let’s do better.
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THE GRASS IS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE IS ONE OF THE BIGGEST LIES EVER TOLD.

If you have a FAITHFUL spouse, a LOVING spouse, and a RESPECTFUL spouse, why in the world would you sabotage that trying to see if something “better” is out there?

Many people walked away from good marriages chasing butterflies, feelings, attention, lust, and fantasies only to discover that the grass wasn’t greener. It was artificial.

Now they’re disappointed, heartbroken, angry, and wishing they could get back what they threw away.

The truth is this: the grass is green where it’s WATERED.

Every marriage has seasons. Every covenant requires work. Every relationship requires investment. If you spend more time looking over the fence than tending your own garden, don’t be surprised when weeds start growing.

Stop comparing your spouse to social media.
Stop comparing your marriage to somebody else’s highlight reel.
Stop entertaining people who were never assigned to your covenant.

GOD did not call you to abandon what He blessed because you got bored, distracted, or curious. He called you to BLOOM, BUILD, and INVEST where He planted you.

The person on the other side may look exciting today, but excitement doesn’t build a legacy. Covenant does.

Water your own grass.
Protect your own garden.
Honor your own covenant.

Because many people who jumped the fence found out too late that what they left behind was far better than what they chased.
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STOP LIVING LIKE ROOMMATES.

One of the saddest things to witness is a husband and wife sharing the same house, sleeping in the same bed, paying the same bills, raising the same children, yet living like complete strangers.

That is NOT God’s will for marriage.

God did not say, “The two shall become roommates.” He said, “The two shall become ONE FLESH.”

One in purpose.
One in vision.
One in communication.
One in intimacy.
One in faith.
One in pursuit of God.

Many marriages are drifting because we have drifted away from the WORD OF GOD. We have replaced biblical principles with worldly opinions, selfish desires, pride, unforgiveness, and independence.

A covenant cannot thrive where there is no connection.

Some couples know more about what’s happening on social media than what’s happening in their spouse’s heart.

Some can spend hours talking to friends but can’t spend 15 minutes talking to each other.

Some are sharing a roof but not sharing their lives.

That is not oneness.

Marriage requires intentionality. It requires conversation. It requires prayer. It requires sacrifice. It requires choosing each other daily.

The enemy loves roommate marriages because there is no intimacy, no vulnerability, no unity, and no power. But when a husband and wife become ONE as God intended, they become a force that hell cannot easily divide.

Stop settling for coexistence when God called you to covenant.

Stop settling for distance when God called you to ONENESS.

Go back to 👉🏾the Word. Go back 👉🏾to prayer. Go back 👉🏾to pursuing one another.

Because God didn’t join you together to merely occupy the same space.

He joined you together to become ONE FLESH.
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