Tanisha Dena

I purposely ignored an email in 2010
An opportunity came through - a real one - and I let it sit in my inbox for days. Not because I was busy. Not because I missed it. But because I didn’t think I was qualified. I didn’t think I had put in enough work for it. I hadn’t struggled enough to get it.
Read that again.

I rejected a blessing because it didn’t come with enough pain attached to it.
Let me tattoo your soul real quick.
Some of you are doing the exact same thing right now, and you don’t even realize it.

You can’t receive your blessing because deep down, you don’t think you’re worthy of it.
And before you scroll past this telling yourself “that’s not me” ………yes, baby, it IS you.

If God opened the door, you ARE worthy to walk through it. But you keep standing outside looking at it, convincing yourself there’s been some mistake. That door can’t be for YOU. That opportunity? Must be meant for someone more qualified. That person showing up to support you? They’ll leave once they see the “real” you.
You can’t allow others to see your worth because you don’t see it yourself.

So you hide. You dim your light. You make yourself small. You stay in the corner convincing yourself you’re “being humble” when really, you’re just terrified of being seen.
And when someone DOES see you? When they say “I want to invest in you” or “You’re brilliant” or “Let me help you” you panic. You find reasons why they’re wrong. You self-destruct. You ghost them. You prove to yourself that you were right all along……..you’re not worthy.
That’s what I did with that email. I ghosted my own blessing.

Some of you are so used to struggling that when true support shows up, you RUN.
You run because it doesn’t feel familiar.
You run because you’ve been fighting so long that peace feels like a trap.
You run because you’re more comfortable EARNING love than RECEIVING it.

You’ve convinced yourself that anything worth having must cost you everything…….your peace, your health, your joy, your sleep. So when something good shows up without the trauma attached? You don’t trust it. You sabotage it. You’d rather destroy it yourself than wait for it to be taken from you.
I almost did that. I almost let my need to “earn it through struggle” cost me an opportunity that was ALREADY MINE.
Let me say this plainly: You are rejecting the very things you’ve been praying for.

That opportunity that makes you nervous? That’s the answer to your prayer.
That person who sees your greatness? That’s God sending you confirmation.
That door that feels “too good to be true”? Baby, it’s TRUE. And it’s YOURS.

But you keep running back to struggle because at least struggle is predictable. At least when you’re fighting, you know your role. At least when you’re proving yourself, you feel in control.
Grace terrifies you because you can’t control it. You can’t earn it. You can’t hustle for it. You just have to… receive it.
And receiving requires you to believe you’re worthy.
So here’s your assignment: Stop testing every blessing to see if it’s “real.” Stop waiting for the other shoe to drop. Stop punishing yourself for wanting more. Stop apologizing for taking up space. Stop shrinking so other people feel comfortable. Stop running from the very thing your soul has been crying out for.
The door is open.

But you’re standing outside arguing with God about whether you deserve to walk through it.
Newsflash: God doesn’t make mistakes. If the door opened, you’re SUPPOSED to be there.
Now the question is……are you brave enough to believe it?
Are you brave enough to stop sabotaging yourself?
Are you brave enough to receive the gift without needing to prove you earned it?
Or are you going to keep sitting in that corner, watching everyone else walk into their blessing while you convince yourself you’re “not ready yet”?
You ARE ready.
You’ve BEEN ready.

The only person who doesn’t see it… is you.
So let me be clear: I see you. God sees you. The people trying to bless you SEE you.
The only question left is……when are YOU going to see yourself?
Stop running, baby.
Walk through the door.
(And if there’s an email sitting in YOUR inbox right now that you’ve been ignoring because you “don’t deserve it”……go answer it. Today.)
🤎

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