Better Wellness with Dr. Erica Shick

Tips:
Start by making a list of his toxic behaviors and your unmet needs. Girl, you deserve better! Next, understand that the nagging feeling when you are no contact is a physiological and biological drive. You don’t miss him; your brain misses the neurochemical hit.

With EMDR, I help women develop the mindset and skills to overcome toxic relationships and identify healthy connections.

Dating can burn you out if you don’t have the right attitude. Below are just a few red flags I have experienced. What not-so-obvious but still obvious red flags of dating have you come across?

• They don’t have any subscriptions to streaming channels and will try to mooch off their friends or you.

• They always take you on no-cost or low-cost dates, indicating that you’re out of their budget.

• They prefer going to the liquor store instead of getting fancy cocktails.

• All of their exes were “crazy.”

• They promise a wonderful, amazing future but show no action to follow through (this is known as future faking).

• They can’t afford good concert seats—or any concerts at all.

What obvious but not-so-obvious red flags have you run into?

1️⃣ Partner Selection Reflects Childhood Experiences: The partners we choose often mirror our upbringing. We may unconsciously select those who feel familiar, which can explain why some stay in unhealthy relationships. Exploring childhood experiences of emotional neglect or trauma can reveal why we choose certain partners.

2️⃣ You Don’t Have to Stay a Victim: Experiencing abuse is painful and not your fault, however healing is your responsibility. A victim mindset can hinder growth; recognizing your strength is crucial for moving forward.

3️⃣ Micromanaging Your Children Can Hold Them Back: Over-controlling your children’s lives can stunt their development. Understanding child development, especially during adolescence, is key to granting them age-appropriate responsibilities. Overprotective parenting often stems from parental anxiety, leading to young adults who struggle with decision-making.

4️⃣ Healing Requires Key Elements: Healing involves commitment, embracing discomfort, and fostering acceptance and curiosity. Understanding these concepts can lead to significant growth.

5️⃣ AI and Self-Help Resources Can Reinforce Anxiety: While AI and self-help resources seem helpful, they can reinforce anxiety and checking behaviors instead of building self-trust. Quick social media tips often lack context, and self-diagnosing can be harmful. The most effective healing comes from the professional relationship with a therapist, which provides necessary co-regulation and safety. Remember, there are no quick fixes for complex trauma.

Two reasons why setting intentions is so important?

1️⃣Because intentions serve as a simple compass or guide when we feel frozen or overwhelmed by emotions, or when we haven’t learned how to slow ourselves down during the day. When I work with clients, I often ask them at the end of each session what intention they want to set for themselves for the week. Many people struggle to understand what an intention is, so I use the example of “Christmas spirit.” When we mention it, most people create an image in their minds of what that means.

2️⃣Not only does intention setting act as a guide and compass, but it also helps the brain create new neural pathways. On tough days, having an intention can be a straightforward way to get ourselves back on track.

So, for this week, I’m going to ask you: What is your intention for yourself?

The intention I’m setting for myself this week is “fun” because it’s my birthday week!

🌟 This is your sign to start your healing journey! 🌟 Remember, your peace is more important than anyone else’s opinion. 💖✨ Take that first step today—embrace self-love, prioritize your well-being, and chase after your happiness. You deserve it! 🙌💪

👉 Start today by using the Linktree in my bio to visit my website, and click “Contact.” Or feel free to DM me! 💬 Let’s connect and begin this journey together!

✨ What I’d Tell My 21-Year-Old Self ✨

As a therapist specializing in complex trauma and relationships, I often reflect on the wisdom I wish I could share with my younger self. At 21, I’d remind her of her incredible potential, encourage her to embrace fun and mistakes, and urge her to seek therapy before marriage.

I work with women to address people-pleasing and other complex trauma behaviors that hold them back. It’s crucial to understand that perfection won’t earn love, and healing from trauma is essential for true self-acceptance.

Through therapy, women can overcome barriers, reclaim their self-worth, and challenge societal expectations. At 39, I finally chose myself, broke generational cycles, and gained freedom, self-respect, and peace.