Salty Heifer Salon

“You’re toxic and annoying.”

Me: “You spelled exotic and anointed wrong”

I love that I have a positive mental attitude. I’m positive. I’m mental. And I definitely have an attitude!

The economy is messed up. You buy some groceries and it feels like you’re irresponsible with money.

The guy behind me honked because I was going 65 in a 65 so now we’re both going 40.
Welcome to menopause Kevin.

In life, you should keep your chin up. Because if you look down, you have two.

For the ladies still waiting for their prince on a white horse, don’t give up! With current gas prices, he could arrive any day now.

When you got that joy, joy, joy, joy down in your heart, but no one can see it because you always look like this…

They say “Listen to your body.” Okay, well mine wants to quit my job, move to the mountains, and live off chips and queso. So now what?

I wonder if Mexicans say “Let’s go to the white peoples’ restaurant.”