Caregiving: It ain’t for Sissies

Caregiver Tips
Patient Meals
I found serving the on small trays (with sides) keep the bed or their area cleaner. I use metal trays (like used in toaster oven) Easy to wash and store.
Most like finger foods. Allows then to feel independent 💜 Sandwiches cut in 1/4 Where I used to overstuff a sandwich 🥪 Now you may wish to under stuff. I found placing condiments like lettuce or pickles on the side works better (neater)
They like to facilitate their own drinks. I used a thermo mug with lid and straw for water (always available to him) and straw in sodas or juice bottles. If they are less than co-ordinated; do not fill to top. At night place the water a bit away from the bed so they don’t accidentally knock it over. Hard to be cheerful mopping up water middle of the night. Also a fall risk for you 😢
When they cannot feed themselves dishes/soups. I pretended to make it a meal for both of us…while I fed him. I would have a bite/drink of something as he ate. It allows them to feel less needy
Note sure how much it is to buy a 2nd tray table but I could have used 2. So many things were on the one, his water, creams, peppermint oil that he used to help him breathe at nite (had a deviated septum), tissues, pills…
That I did not use it as much as I may have had I had all that on another table.
Side note; never enough room for all the reports, things like lotions and potions (more on that later), pill splitter, lots of napkins/paper towels, clippers and file….
Guess that is a starter….will add as I think of it
Reminder to get their bed up far enough for their ease
Oh and I used a kitchen towel as a bib. I would shake off crumbs, and fold it and hang it on bed until it needed to be washed.
Feel free to add your tips under comments 💜🧚

7 phone numbers every caregiver should have saved in their phone. Most families don't have them. 💛

1. Eldercare Locator: 1-800-677-1116
2. Alzheimer's 24/7 Helpline: 1-800-272-3900
3. Medicare: 1-800-633-4227
4. VA Caregiver Support: 1-855-260-3274
5. NAMI: 1-800-950-6264
6. Poison Control: 1-800-222-1222
7. NCOA: 571-527-3900 / BenefitsCheckUp.org

Save this. Share it. Full list + more in my free guide. Link in the first comment below. 💛

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1. Grief waits…
You can numb it with alcohol, bury it in work, or drown it in distractions…but grief doesn’t go anywhere. It waits. It hides behind your habits, your hustle, your forced smiles. Then one quiet night, when the noise fades and you’re finally alone, it hits. The only way through it is straight through it. Stop running from the smoke screens. Face it. Only then can you start to heal.

2. You’ll outgrow people who never met the version of you that loss created.
Death changes your wiring. It makes small talk unbearable and fake friendships obvious. The ones who stay are the ones who can handle your silence and your honesty. Keep them close.

3. You’ll crave meaning more than happiness.
When someone you love dies young, “just having fun” stops doing it for you. You start wanting depth…conversations that go somewhere, work that matters, mornings that feel earned. That’s not depression. That’s awakening.

4. You’ll carry guilt that doesn’t belong to you.
Guilt for laughing again. For not calling more. For still being here. It’s all noise. The best way to honor them isn’t to feel bad…it’s to live well. Turn guilt into gratitude and keep going.

5. You’ll stop waiting for perfect timing.
Because death reminds you there isn’t any. You’ll book the flight, make the call, start the business, tell them you love them, because someday is a lie most people believe until it’s too late.

6. You’ll realize strength isn’t stoic.
It’s crying in your car, then showing up anyway. It’s rebuilding a life no one else understands. It’s learning to smile again without feeling like a fraud. Real strength isn’t loud, it’s quietly relentless.

You’ll start living for two. One for you, and one for the person who never got the chance. Every rep, every sunrise, every risk you take, it’s both of you now. And that’s how legacy is built.

My dad was 54 when we lost him unexpectedly to a heart attack. Only through time do you begin to learn these things and it’s not a straight path, so give yourself some grace, you’re already doing great ❤️🙌