It's Her Vibe

Detachment & Healing Anxious Attachment

Are you someone who struggles with an anxious or insecure attachment?

I’ve found that the problem was never my partner and the “lack of love” I was receiving, so much as it was my inability to see his actions through a lens that didn’t feel threatening.

However you developed your anxious attachment, one thing is true. We use our past experiences to interpret present ones. And sometimes, we are reliving that past experience and projecting it onto our current situation or partner.

What this ends up doing is destabilizing the whole relationship. Because one partner is always perceiving everything the other one is doing as a threat, the other partner starts to feel like they’re walking on eggshells. They can’t show up authentically, they may become even more avoidant or feel like they’re always the problem.

In order to heal this, the anxious partner must learn how to self soothe.

We must learn how to stop making assumptions. Ask our partners of their intentions instead of assuming the worst.

Communicate with curiosity instead of criticism and do so as clearly as possible.

If you don’t know how you want your partner to “fix it,” (or make it better) take some time so you can be attuned to what your needs ACTUALLY are. After all, how the hell are they supposed to help meet our needs if we aren’t even in touch with ourselves enough to know them ourselves?

Learn to detach yourself from your partner. Get to a place within yourself where you support yourself so well, you feel so secure in yourself and your path that if you & your partner did decide to go separate ways, you know you’d be okay.

Confidence is key to healing insecure attachment.

No one can abandon you if you choose to be there for yourself. Abandonment hurts so deeply because what we’re actually experiencing in a co-dependent situation is the abandonment of SELF.

Literally live in this sweater😂
Mind ya business😅

Today we are talking about QUITTING.

Quitting has such a negative connotation that comes with it.
-unreliable
-indecisive
-lacks determination
-lazy
-and the list goes on for the judgements we use against those who “QUIT.”

But, there are so many POSITIVE reasons why we would quit, so let’s chat about them!
-knowing your damn worth
-knowing if something is not right for you
-you’ve outgrown the environment/relationship
-you’re honest with yourself about what you want for yourself
-you don’t let fear stop you from making important changes/choices
-you’re confident enough to know and trust that by letting go of something that no longer serves you, you’re making room for what is MEANT for you.
-And more!!

So, next time you’re unhappy and considering whether it’s time to move on, ask yourself these questions:

Why did I originally make the choice to get involved? Is that reason still true today?

What am I giving up if I let this go?

What am I gaining by letting this go?

And does letting this “thing” feel authentic to me and where I am in my path right now?

As always, if you need some guidance to help you sort through this, I offer one-on-one life coaching. We can work towards making effective life changes together💗

If this sounds like something you need, reach out✨

“Whatever you fight, you strengthen, and what you resist, persists.”

“Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.”

“If there is no struggle, there can be no progress.”

“The struggle you’re in today is developing the strength you need tomorrow.”

“Storms make trees grow deeper roots.”

“I am not afraid of storms for I am learning how to sail my ship.”

We automatically assume to be healthy, we should be taking a vitamin/multivitamin, so we hop on the supplement train.

Athletes, influencers and most people endorse a multivitamin or greens/reds so it’s a common thing to see. But how necessary are they and are there any risks?

Let’s look at the difference between vitamins & minerals in pill/powder form compared to their consumption through a whole food diet.

Pills/Powders-
-Processed - possible nutrient loss in the processing
-Possible bad interactions/absorption issues
For example:
-magnesium interferes with absorption of iron & zinc
-calcium, magnesium & zinc shouldn’t be taken together because they compete for absorption
-Vitamin K competes for absorption with other fat-soluble vitamins like Vitamins E & K
-Fish oil & ginkgo biloba are both blood thinners & can be dangerous when taken together
-Zinc affects copper absorption
-Vitamin A inhibits absorption of Vitamin K
-And so on..

Natural Whole Food Diet-
-We can eat a variety of foods to fulfill our requirements & we’re less likely to experience adverse reactions/issues
-Better absorption because of no/minimal processing = better quality nutrients
-Can be consumed over the period of a week - not daily, like we normally think.

Nutrition doesn’t have to be complicated. Keep it simple. Eat some diverse Whole Foods. Enjoy some of what you love in moderation. And don’t take it so seriously! 💕

Share this with someone who needs to know and as always I appreciate your support! Leave me a comment & share to support, it means so much 🙏🏼❤️